Growing Tree of Life newsletter
Issue number #005
16 February 2023
Reading 4:17 minutes
Did you ever have a feeling that your life has stalled?
You know, you look at your life and think:
“Something is missing.”
Nothing is wrong per se, but you still wonder:
“Isn’t there something more?”
If you never felt that way, you are lucky.
But I had that feeling. And this is how I solved it.
How the kids helped me to understand my purpose
Note: I don’t mean my kids. I mean kids in general.
I became a kid again.
No, don’t worry. I didn’t start pooping in my pants.
Nor did I eat bugs or anything else like that.
I simply changed my thinking.
Let me explain.
As newborn babies, we don’t have a concept of “I should” or “I shouldn’t”.
We do things that feel natural to us.
We do things we are meant to do.
We grow.
We learn.
We try new things.
Do you remember the “me, me, ME!” period? (If you have kids, of course.)
During that time, kids want to do everything on their own.
I mean EVERYTHING.
And they don’t take no for an answer.
Kids are the best salespeople in the world, aren’t they?
Kids are like that, naturally.
Until we mess them up!
How do we mess them up? With things like this:
“Don’t!”
“Stop it!”
“You must.”
“You should.”
“You shouldn’t.”
“Do this.”
“Do that.”
All that pestering affects our curious minds.
It makes us wonder: “Is trying new things a bad idea?”
Gradually, we stop. And a few years later?
A few years later, we start to wonder: “Isn’t there something more?”
Yes, there is something more. There are things we can do again.
Things which are so simple that anyone can do them.
What things am I talking about?
I am talking about what kids do naturally and what adults stop doing.
The first one is:
Experimenting
Kids are curious.
They want to try new things. It’s natural.
But not only for them. It’s natural for humans.
It is a part of our purpose. We are made that way.
We are meant to try new things which intrigue us.
Figuring out how to do something new gives us satisfaction.
Usually, when we try to do something the first time, it doesn’t work.
So we try again.
And again.
Until we make it work.
It doesn’t matter how crude the result is.
We made it work. We became better. More experienced.
We have grown.
THAT matters.
Growth is the first thing often missing in our lives.
We long to learn new skills.
We want to become better at something.
Anything.
When we start growing again, our lives change for the better.
So, my first question to you is:
“Will you dare to try something new?”
Questioning
The second thing I learned from children is their passion for knowledge.
Children not only want to try new things, but they also want to know everything.
They want to understand themselves and the whole world.
The stream of questions asked by a curious three-year-old is insane.
One study found that they ask anywhere between 200 and 300 questions a day.
A DAY!
Warren Berger says that kids ask around 40,000 questions between ages 2 5.
Why do they do that?
Because we are made that way.
Exploring and finding out is a part of our purpose.
It’s not just kids who want to know. It’s us, humans.
The thirst for knowledge doesn’t fade away when we grow up.
We stop asking questions not to look stupid.
We still have questions, but we stop asking them.
That is the second thing missing from our lives.
The questioning of things around us.
What do they do?
How do they work?
How do we work?
Why do we do what we do?
Can we do it better?
Do we have to do it at all?
The curiosity of our minds keeps us engaged.
Without curiosity, we lose interest.
So, here is my second question to you:
“Will you dare to ask those questions again?”
You might think:
“How do experimenting and questioning help us find life’s purpose?”
They help us to discover our passion.
Have you ever heard the phrase: “Follow your passion”?
Passion is a window to our purpose.
The things we love to do are what we are supposed to do.
Yet, most people agree: “Finding a life’s purpose is difficult.”
Some people would have a problem with selection.
They would love to do many things.
Others never found anything they would love to do.
They didn’t try enough different things to find the one.
And some people over the years abandoned all they ever were passionate about.
And they never tried to find new ones or return to the old ones.
Does either of those scenarios sound familiar?
If the first one, you might be a multi-passionate person.
That’s not a bad thing. But it can be a “shiny-object syndrome”.
Questioning your motives can help you to recognise which one it is.
If you are a multi-passionate person, merge all your passions into one purpose.
Questions will help you come up with answers on how you can do that.
If it is the “shiny-object syndrome”, you haven’t found your passion yet.
If you identify with one of the other two scenarios or have a “shiny-object syndrome”, the answer is to experiment more.
Go out, and try new — or old — things.
The more things you try, the easier it will be to find your passion.
So here’s my tip:
Here are those two simple questions again:
“Will you dare to try something new?”
“Will you dare to question everything again?”
And as a free bonus one more question just for you:
Will you do it?
Stay awesome and have a great week.
Lubo
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Thank you for reading. See you next week.
Lubo