Why and How I Created the Tree of Life Quest

This overview of why and how the Tree of Life Quest framework was created is a part of Guide: How To Change Your Life

After immense turmoil in my life, I embarked on a quest to learn how to create and live an abundant life. Life of purpose, joy and satisfaction.

It was the reason why I created this system.

As you can read in My storyIn 2017 my —until then seemingly successful— life crashed. After failed suicide, I admitted that I messed up my life and decided to create and live a life of meaning, joy, and abundance. This is my story. Discover more..., in 2017 I was in a bad place. I needed to fix my life.

Not just my relationships, my career or my finances. I needed a whole life overhaul. First I was looking at all the different advice from the Personal Growth Industry and it all seemed to be straightforward. There were lots of tools, strategies, and tips backed by scientific research. But in a way, it was more of the same. Most of the things I knew and used before. Basically, it was a lot of variations on:

“You do this and you get that. You grind, get a high-paying job or be a businessman, get money, a nice car, a woman…”

Seems easy. Just do what everyone else is doing, do more of it, do it better, and you will have a great life. Sounds simple. But…

I had most of the “good” things before and I lost them all. AND I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND WHY —not yet anyway.

I wasn’t able to force myself to follow the advice anymore. Frankly, I didn’t even know if I still wanted those things. It felt hollow, empty. I didn’t even know who I was and I had no purpose. There was no drive left in me. For decades I chased things because I thought I should. Everything I did in my life up to that point —and I did a lot of things with great success— was chasing outer things.

I did things because I regarded them as good and worth pursuing.

That’s not to say that they weren’t good or worth pursuing. But were they good for me? And if yes, in what proportion? Did I chase after the wind? After all:

"...what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?"

This was the moment, when I realised, that I cannot focus on goals first. That seemed crazy. If anything is the main commandment in a Personal Development Industry, it’s this:

First, you have to set goals

You heard or read this advice…

• You cannot arrive if you don’t know where you are going.
• If you don’t set your goals someone else will set them for you.
• Your goals will give you motivation.
• Etc. etc. ad nauseam.

But what if the goals are not the starting point?

I was looking for answers because I needed to take back my life.

But what if I couldn’t find the right answers because I didn’t ask the right question?

What if the first question is not “WHAT?” but “WHO?”
Would the answer to that question set me on an absolutely different path?

As it turns out, questioning “Who am I?” changed everything.

Self-discovery opened a whole perspective and unlocked new dimensions. As you can see in the image, the object with more dimensions (red and blue 4D hypercube) looks much different than its projection with fewer dimensions (black 2D shadow underneath).

I began creating a whole-life-encompassing framework, something to guide me.

And this was the flow I discovered:

WHO you are will determine WHY you do things. Your WHY will impact WHAT things you do (and what things you don’t do).

Simon Sinek wrote a brilliant book “Start with Why”. I say we should take it even further. We should start with WHO, then proceed to WHY and only afterwards we will come to WHAT. When we have all three, the HOW will reveal itself. It’s just a matter of actions based on who we are, why we strive for something and what route we take to achieve it.

I was never a person of a rigid structure. So, when I worked on the framework, I need it to represent a life. A few months in, I found the best depiction. A tree. It has a structure, but it is alive. You take care of the environment and nutrition and the tree grows on its own.

Hidden in the ground, Roots support the tree and provide resources for the Crown. The Trunk facilitates the transfer of resources between the Roots and the Crown. The Crown serves the outer world and provides needed resources for the Roots. All together one life with different parts playing different roles.

At first, it was all meant to be just for me. But with my life turning around, it became more and more clear to me that many people could benefit from what I learned. So I started looking for ways how to present my framework to others. I needed a name.

I always liked the Tree of Life legend. It spreads through many cultures. The appeal of majestic trees representing the Circle of Life is universal and found in nearly every religion and culture —ancient and current— in some shape or form. The tree is a perfect image of life. I embarked on a quest. And so I named the framework the Tree of Life Quest.

It became a way of creating an environment in which we, you and I, can flourish like a Tree of Life.

Because the tree doesn’t try to grow. If it has the right environment, gets the right nutrients, and has enough water to support its growth, the tree grows automatically. This is the journey I will take you on. No chasing after the wind. No more trying to change yourself or “create” personal growth.

You will work on the environment of your life, supply water and nutrition. That’s it.

The growth is natural.

The next article is Four Levels of Personal Growth.