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Three Questions Shaping Your Life

Issue number #041
26 October 2023
Reading time 4 minutes

Some time ago I learned an important lesson from Tony Robbins.

In every moment of your life, you are faced with three critical questions. They shape your life experience: your satisfaction, how you feel and how you act.

What questions?

1. What do you focus on?

Firstly, what are you going to focus on?

This question is crucial because the majority of us don't consciously decide what we should be paying attention to. Naturally, we can't focus on everything; we tend to concentrate on a small number of things.

For instance, right now, you could be focusing on the blood rushing through your left ear or the touch of your clothes against your skin, but you don't.

Our brains simplify life by distorting, deleting, and generalising information. However, this can lead to missing out on a lot of what life has to offer.

- Have you ever considered how much your focus affects your feelings?
- What if you could consciously choose what to pay attention to?

This first question has three components.

a) Do you focus on what you have or on what is lacking?

Imagine the difference it would make if you focused on what you have rather than what's missing in your life.

If you constantly dwell on what's lacking, happiness becomes elusive, no matter how successful you are. By appreciating what you have, feelings of abundance and joy can flourish.

- What aspects of your life could you feel grateful for right now if only you shifted your focus?

b) Do you focus on what you can change or can't?

Ask yourself whether you tend to concentrate more on things within or beyond your control.

If you obsess over factors outside your control, feelings of sadness, frustration, anger, and depression may dominate your life.

c) Do you think mostly about the past, present or future?

Lastly, consider whether you focus more on the past, present or future.

We all think about all of them, but what is your default? While all three aspects play a part in our lives, the past is good only for introspection and learning lessons, not to live in it.

Striking a balance between the present and future is key for both enjoyment and achievement. Understanding these patterns alone can bring about significant changes in your life.

2. What it means?

The second question is: what does this mean?

As soon as we focus on something, we assign meaning to it. Is a particular event the end or the beginning? Is it a punishment or a challenge? The meaning we attribute to events has a direct impact on our emotions and actions.

- How might your life change if you consciously chose the meanings you give to events?

3. What will I do?

The third question is: what am I going to do?

The meaning we assign to events influences our emotions, which in turn determine our actions. For example, if you believe that a problem is a punishment from a higher power, your feelings and actions will be vastly different from someone who sees it as a challenge or a gift.

The attached meaning even determines which actions will come to your mind. That's how important our beliefs and perceptions are.

What can you do about it?

But knowing this is not going to change your life. You have to take an action.

These three questions are constantly at play in your life. If you're not careful, they can control you.

To create the quality of life you desire, you have to take charge of your thoughts and emotions. You have to become a conscious thinker.

- Are you ready to challenge what's going on in your heart and mind?

My tip today:

Embrace the power of focus, meaning, and action to create a joyful and fulfilling existence.

The more you stop yourself and ask these questions, the more conscious choices you will make:
  1. What do I focus on?
  2. What it means?
  3. What will I do?
And don't worry about being able to do it all the time. If you stop yourself once a day, you will be in a much better place than someone who never stops.

By understanding and consciously addressing these three questions, you can transform your life.

Thank you for reading and see you next Thursday.


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