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Welcome back to the Growing Tree of Life, our weekly exploration of personal growth and well-being.
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Issue Number: #077
Date: 16 July 2024
Reading Time: 5 minutes
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Don't Start With 'How'
When we desire something, our first instinct is often to ask 'How?'. "How can I get that? How can I achieve my dream?" This approach is flawed. The 'how' should be the last question you ask.
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Many factors influence us, and often, the dreams we pursue aren't truly ours. We chase them because others do or because we're told to. To live a full life, not just exist, you must start with 'who'. This 'who' is the first of eight essential questions you should ask yourself.
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The Eight Essential Questions
Let me outline these eight questions before delving into 'who'. For the process to work fully, these questions need to be asked in this order: who, what, whom, why, where, when, with, and finally, how.
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First Four Questions: Purpose & Reasons
Who: This question isn't just about your identity. It's about understanding your place in the universe. Who are you in this world? Who are you meant to be? What is your inner nature? How do you fit into relationships with others and the broader world? What is your relationship with your creator?
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What: This question addresses your purpose in life. Once you understand who you are and how you fit into the universe, you need to determine your purpose. What are you here to do? This includes your desires and dreams but also your responsibilities. It's not just about personal identity and happiness; it's also about contributing to others' happiness. Your life isn't only about you. Every action you take affects others too.
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Whom: Whom does your purpose concern or affect? This includes yourself, others around you, community, world at large, and your creator. These three—who, what, and whom—are interconnected and lead to the next question: why.
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Why: Why ties everything together. Why is it important to pursue this path? Understanding your motivations creates a powerful force that keeps you on track.
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If you don't know your why, you're probably doing something you only saw or heard and copied from someone else—be it from media, friends, 'authorities', etc.
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Next Four Questions: Action Plan
Where: After these foundational questions come the practical ones. 'Where' asks where is the best place to achieve your defined goals. Look at the world around you and identify where you'll have the best chance to achieve those things you identified in the first four questions. This gives you the ability to position yourself for success. It may mean selecting a career (company or job type) to increase your chances of success, or moving to a different place, or joining a club to participate in certain activities.
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When: Once you've identified 'where', consider 'when'. Timing is crucial. Recognise that everything has different stages. It is not so much about the calendar as it is about the right moment (based on your skills, knowledge, and/or abilities) to start different parts of the process. Just like building a house in stages, achieving your goals requires careful planning of when each step will occur.
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With: This encompasses every tool and asset you'll need to achieve your goals—skills, knowledge, behaviour, appearance. Mastering these tools and gathering those assets is essential.
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How: Finally, we arrive at 'how'. When you've answered all the previous questions—where you'll go, when you'll act, and with what resources—the 'how' becomes clear. It might involve studying new skills or acquiring specific knowledge.
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The first four questions are motivational. They determine the reasons to pursue what we want to pursue. The next four are actionable. They determine the process of pursuing. This distinction is important because having a clear 'why' provides the driving force behind your actions. Without motivation, even the best-laid plans will falter. Meanwhile, knowing the practical steps helps prevent missteps and ensures you are prepared for the journey ahead.
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But don't get bogged down in overthinking things.
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You don't need to have it all figured out. Ask Malinda. Her song Figured Out is going to explain a lot. (Links Bellow)
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Really, you don't have to know the answer to the first question (who) for everything in your life before moving on to the next question. Different parts of your life are going to be in different stages. Our life, desires, and circumstances change, and thus there will always be different parts in different stages.
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You can take action on some things while still figuring out others.
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Nothing is ever solved only on paper. Answering the questions will NOT solve or achieve anything. Only action does. However, for each goal or dream we need at least basic answers to each question to prevent going the wrong path.
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Today's Tip:
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Don't ask how to achieve something without knowing who you are and what is your purpose.
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Start by asking these questions in the right order.
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1. Who: Understand yourself and your place in the world.
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2. What: Define your purpose and responsibilities.
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3. Whom: Identify who else is involved—including yourself, others, and any higher power.
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4. Why: Understand your motivations.
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5. Where: Determine the optimal environment for your goals.
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6. When: Schedule your milestones—what comes first and what comes later.
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7. With: Gather the necessary tools and resources.
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8. How: Plan the specific steps to your first milestone.
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That's all for today. Thank you for reading, and see you next Tuesday.
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PS: Malinda is an amazing singer and I have to warn you, once you hear her, you will slide down a rabbit hole of her music only to reappear hours later red-eyed (from so much screen-time) and with a velvety feeling in your soul (from her voice and her beautiful songs).
Figured Out ~ Malinda
Song about Puffins ~ Malinda
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Just be careful because, as it was reported, there is a real danger that you might die of laughter (especially if you indulge in her singing comedy channel Twisted Translations).
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Lubo
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