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last week I needed a coach

Issue Number: #066
Date: 25 April 2024
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Hello , have you ever felt like you're banging your head against a wall when trying to achieve something?

You start, have some progress, and then you hit a wall that stops you in your tracks. You try again and again and again and again, but whatever you do you end where you started, just more tired and disappointed than before.

If you know what I am talking about, you are not alone. I've been on that path for a few months now with a project I'm working on.

Now you can say: "You are coach. You are supposed to help people to solve such problems, aren't you?"

And you're right. I am not only supposed to help others to reach their goals, I actually did it. I was able to help others with their problems, while at the same time I was stuck in my own project. Talk about irony.

It all was resolved last Monday. After not being able to move forward, I asked other coaches in Expert Coach Community to help me out. And help they did.

There were a few problems with my approach, but the biggest one was lack of bird-point view.

Yes. I was so bogged into nitty-gritty that I couldn't see where I used wrong approach. And as any ex-army will tell you, when you get bogged down in an open field, you're as good as dead. You have to keep moving to survive. Either accept defeat and run back to the trenches or just get up and charge but never ever stay put.

So, what was the problem I faced and how it got resolved?

My goal is to help people create and live the life they love. And I am working on a system to bring my services to more people. But whatever I tried, I couldn't get the system done. The problem was that I wasn't able to create the list of actions needed to create the delivery system.

It's ridiculous because, as a successful manager during my years in corporate roles, I've been able to create many action plans and bring projects to completion. When helping coaching clients, I can guide them through their situation and guide them to create an action plan.

That's essential skill for achieving any goal, because if you don't have an action plan, you'll never be able to reach your destination. It's like in construction — you need a blueprint or else you can't build anything — or like planning a trip — you need to know which way to go, or else you can't reach your destination.

Enter my coaches.

During the first session one coach asked some great questions which uncovered a few problems. It helped a bit but it still wasn't enough to get me going. Then I had another session with another coach and she dived in deeper. And voila — the main reason came to the surface.

What was the problem? I didn't see the whole picture.

I was stalled in the nitty-gritty of one specific area while unable to see the bigger picture. Because I didn't see the whole situation, I entirely missed one area of the project and I was too focussed on details of one step that couldn't be solved without that missing area.

And no. She didn't tell me what area is missing.

She probably even didn't know anything about what I tried to do. The good coach doesn't need to know the details of what you are trying to do because most of the answers you need are already inside you. You just cannot see them. And the good coach will help you to find those answers by asking the right questions.

One of her questions was: "How did you create the action plans before? In your job or with your clients?"

I started describing the process… and it hit me … it was staring right into my face.

I always created the action plan by going backwards from the goal. I imagined the end result and backtracked one step.
"What must have happened before this result?"
I noted it down and backtracked again.
"What must have happened before that?"
And again and again and again until I reached the current status.

That was the process I used with clients and back in my corporate days. But now, for myself, I started from the current status and tried to plan forward. And when you don't have the end result in front of your eyes, eventually you steer off the track or — like I did — end up being bogged down in minute details of one of the steps.

For example, when writing action steps about creating a website, I delved into the nitty-gritty details of web design — which is kinda fun — and never finished what else was needed for a successful system.

Once I realised that I tried to milk a bull, it was easy to look around and find a cow.

And yes, next day morning I sat down and within two hours created the whole roadmap. And now I am well on the way to finish the system before end of the month.

Now, don't get me wrong, I know that plans don't always work out, but you can't reach your goal without one. As they say, no plan survives contact with the enemy. This is true for every project, be it warfare, business, or any other kind. As soon as you start working on it, things will change, and you'll need to adjust. That's normal and okay.

But even with that, having a blueprint or an action list is essential. The small details can be adjusted as you progress, but without that main structure, you won't reach your destination.

So what is my tip today?
Well, there are two tips.

  1. Firstly, if you're struggling to achieve something, don't be afraid to ask for help. Having a coach is about having someone who helps you to see the whole picture.

    You cannot see what you don't see. And a good coach will help you to get from the place where you are stuck to a new place from which you will have a different outlook. The coach will help you to see the landscape from a new viewpoint. In the past, we could learn from village elders; now, coaches serve that role.

  2. Secondly, if you find yourself stuck, stop and look at the end result. When you plan how to reach a goal, always start from the end.

    Don't focus on your current situation. Work backwards from end goal and identify the milestone you need to achieve before reaching the destination. Then figure out what comes before that milestone. In other words, start from your end goal and work backwards. Write the milestones down to create your roadmap.
That's all for today. See you next Thursday and thank you for reading!


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