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Welcome back to the Growing Tree of Life, our weekly exploration of personal growth and well-being.
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The Secret to Loving Your Life
Issue Number: #063 Date: 04 April 2024 Reading Time: 4 minutes
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Just wanted to have a chat about something that’s been on my mind. Today I woke up at 4 am, no alarm, no need. What woke me up is a thing I am contemplating for the last few days.
You know how sometimes we look at our lives and only see the stuff that’s not going right?
Frankly, there are many reasons to be dissatisfied with life, some valid and others due to us being overly critical or simply by comparing ourselves to others. It’s pretty easy to do, and honestly, it can get you down. But here’s a thought:
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"What if the secret to being happy with your life is just… …being yourself?"
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I have found out — and there are studies confirming it — that if there is one thing that will always prevent satisfaction, it's the feeling that you betrayed yourself, that you were not true to who you are.
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The key to living the life you love is knowing who you are.
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The path of that life is being yourself.
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Now, I’m not talking about trying to be some perfect, idealised version of you. That’s just setting yourself up for a fall, because with every step we take to become a better version of ourselves, we always discover that there are new things to improve, new horizons opening up. And it's as well that it is like that.
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I mean, if you were perfect, where would you go from there, right?
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It's good to have an image of who you want to be and how you want to live. We need to have something to aim for. But being true to you is not about chasing an elusive ideal or berating yourself for every stumble. Remember, it’s okay not to be the perfect version of yourself.
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We make decisions and take actions based on our current understanding, using tools we have now. It means that sometimes we fail or miss the mark.
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Interestingly, "missing the mark" is the original translation of the word "sin." So when someone says you're a sinner or doing something wrong, they mean that in their eyes you are not being true to who you are meant to be, you are betraying yourself. Sometimes they're right, sometimes not. Only you and God can be judge of that, but aren't we all guilty of betraying ourselves many times in our past?
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So what can you do when you catch yourself not being true to who you are?
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Embrace both, your successes and failures, especially the failures. They teach you much more than successes ever could. Cut yourself some slack. Be kind to yourself.
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When you slip up, don't beat yourself up over it. Instead, pat yourself on the back for the things you do get right, learn from the ones you didn't, and keep pushing forward.
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Putting that aside, looking at your ideal self is important. As long as you acknowledge that your vision of who you are guides your actions and decisions, even if you don't always achieve it, you can still love your life.
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There a three key ingredients to live the life you love: a sense of progress, joy, and meaning.
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Progress
Firstly, you should strive to become that ideal by taking action.
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Satisfaction comes from knowing you've made an effort and seeing the progress you've made. Scientists have found that when we have a target and feel like we're making progress towards it, we feel happy and in control. On the other hand, feeling stuck or not moving towards our goals leads to unhappiness and dissatisfaction. It's important to see progress every day, even if it's just a small step forward.
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There is one more critical part of the progress. We’re built to overcome challenges and get better. We do not value things that came easily as much as those where we had to overcome resistance. It’s not about struggling all the time; it’s about the growth.
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When we grow, when we become better than we were yesterday, that's when we feel that we've made progress.
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So, what’s the plan? First, figure out who you are. You can use my free webinar It's time to be me and accompanying workbook for that. Then, start doing things that’ll get you closer to that ideal. And most importantly, acknowledge the progress you’re making, even if it’s tiny. The section My Life Victories of the Life Path Challenge program helps you to do exactly this.
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Joy
The second part of creating the life you love is to incorporate joy and peace into your day-to-day life.
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It's all nice and dandy to go after your goals until you get burned out and crash down. Taking a break to enjoy peace, moments of tranquillity, and the things that give you joy is not a luxury. It's necessity.
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Knowing who you are includes knowing what gives you joy, what energises you, and how often do you need to recharge to be able to get out and do your best. Trying to live without it is like trying to go on without sleep.
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If needed, you can — in extreme circumstances and for a limited time — suppress the need for peace and joy but you cannot eliminate it from your life. Those moments of pure bliss are important.
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How can you incorporate them into your life? Again, the It's time to be me webinar and free workbook helps you to find the things that give you joy and energise you. And the sections My Life Areas and My Life Map of the Life Path Challenge program help you to strike the right balance and keep the peace and joy in your life.
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Meaning
The last part needed to truly live the life you love is meaning.
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Your sense of meaning comes from two parts. One is the feeling that you are true to yourself, but there is a subsection of you focused outwards. To keep that part of you happy, you need to have a goals that have impact on both, yourself and others. The part focused on others is your mission.
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Your mission is all about your contribution to the world.
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The point is that a part of your life is focused on something bigger than you, something that transcends your mere existence. Big or small, it matters not. What counts is that you’re part of something greater than yourself. Because focusing solely on ourselves is a sure path to misery.
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We thrive when we’re connected to a larger purpose and your mission is how you make the world a better place, whether it’s for one person or many. It’s how who you are impacts others and the world.
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Defining and understanding our mission is often hard. Once again, if you need any help with this, my the It's time to be me webinar and the free workbook helps you to discover the possibilities and the sections My Life Areas and My Life Map of the Life Path Challenge program help you define your mission in a way reflecting who you are.
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Without those three things in our life we feel miserable. Maybe not all the time but there is that consistent underlaying feeling that the life is meant to be different, that something is missing or off. Feeling miserable isn't nice, so I hope that my tip helps you.
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My tip for today is:
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Take a look at your life.
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Are you living by your values and working towards your purpose?
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Do you have joy and peace in your life?
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Are you making a positive impact on the world around you?
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If you have these elements in your life, you’re doing just fine. Enjoy the ride.
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If you don't have them and would like some help with it, get in touch or watch the It's time to be me webinar, download the free workbook and actually do the 7 Steps described in it. Or, if you prefer personal contact and support you can pre-order your spot in the beta run of the Life Path Challenge program (with a huge 77% discount against the future full price! The only thing I request for such a big discount is that you will give me detailed feedback on the program. All details are on het Life Path Challenge webpage.)
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That's all from me today, let’s chat again next week .
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For now, take care and remember to be kind to yourself.
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Lubo
P.S. At last I figured out how to do it, so, next week I will introduce the system for delivering the educational newsletter.
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P.P.S. Little bit more info about the free webinar "It's Time To Be Me". It is now available either in a FB group named "It's Time To Be Me". The workbook is also available in the group for download.
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But if you prefer to keep things off Facebook, it is also available on the It's Time To Be Me webpage. You will have to sign up as all details are sent via email.
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Lubo
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