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Welcome back to the Growing Tree of Life, our weekly exploration of personal growth and well-being.
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Do you ask for help ?
Issue Number: #062
Date: 28 March 2024
Reading Time: 4 minutes
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I can't believe it's the end of the March already. It's two months since I went full on to work on Tree of Life and my coaching. And I have to say that —looking back— for me the last two months went way too fast. What about you? Is your life pace slow or does the time fly?
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Someone said that the days are long but the years are short. Don't ask me who, I can't remember and I am not going to search for that info. But whoever said that had a point. The time seems long in the moment, especially if we are not particularly fond of what we are going through at the moment.
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But that changes once we look back. It's like getting to the top of mountain. The road is long and difficult. But when you are at the top, the perspective changes. From your new viewpoint, when you look back down, the road seems so small and short.
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It's always like that. When we are in midst of something difficult it seems larger, longer, and it can be overwhelming. And we struggle and try to get through. But sometimes there is a much easier way to move ahead. Sometimes when hiking the mountains of life, stretching out hand and asking for help can be all it takes to get over the next hurdle, to conquer that one difficult spot.
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Many people have trouble asking for help or feel uneasy about it. We often don't want to burden others with our problems. "I have to do it myself." right?
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But think about the times when someone asked you for help, and you've said yes. How did you feel afterwards?
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Generally, we feel good when we help others, whether it's with something big or small. (Yes, there are different ways of helping, and if someone always asks for help, it can become problematic.) But stopping ourselves from asking for help entirely is actually robbing others of the chance to feel good when they help you.
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Of course, it's essential to find a balance in who we ask for help and how often we do it. Not asking for help at all is not god. Not being able to cope without always asking for help —especially if we always go to the same person with every small problem— is not good either. We all know that one annoying person who doesn't seem to realise that helping is a two way street, don't we?
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But if you are the person who shays away from asking for help most of the time, today's tip is for you.
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There are three things to consider if you are that person.
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- We can't always handle everything on our own and seeking help is normal.
- By asking for help, we give others the satisfaction of being able to assist someone in need.
- By constantly stopping yourself from asking for help you are telling yourself that YOU ARE NOT WORTHY of getting help. Now we don't want to do THAT, do we?
So, we need to find a balance between not always asking for help, not burdening the same people repeatedly, and not creating a mindset where we don't ask for help at all.
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These are the main questions to consider.
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Ask yourself if you have a healthy give-and-take relationship. Do you ask for help enough or too much? Who do you ask for assistance and why?
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Asking for help in a healthy way is a skill.
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If you struggle to ask for help, my tip for today is:
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In your calendar create and appointment named Ask for help.
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Select something you are struggling with and just reach out to someone. Do it once a week.
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Remember, helping others, big or small, not only benefits them but also makes your day brighter. It's a simple way to connect and show kindness, making us all feel more human. So give someone the gift of being able to help. Especially if they seem to be shy and withdrawn.
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They my be thinking that no one needs them. Brighten their day. Ask them for help. Give them the chance to step up and make a difference. To be useful and to feel needed. It's about creating a community where everyone helps, and everyone benefits.
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In a nutshell, don't see asking for help as a weakness. Instead, view it as a step towards growth and connecting with others.
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That's all from me today .
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Have a great rest of your Thursday and thank you for being a part of the Growing Tree of Life.
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Lubo
P.S. I am still working on the system of delivering the educational newsletter.
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P.P.S. If you missed my free live webinar "It's Time To Be Me", it is now available in a FB group named "It's Time To Be Me". The workbook is also available in the group for download.
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But if you prefer to keep things off Facebook, you can gain access to both on the It's Time To Be Me webpage. You will have to sign up as all details are sent via email.
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The Growing Tree of Life newsletter is sent out every Thursday.
Reading time is usually 4 minutes or less.
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Lubo
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