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Discover Your Values from the List ?

Issue Number: #056
Date: 8 February 2024
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Do you remember a moment in your life when you said or did something you immediately regretted?

But it was too late. The words were spoken, the deed was done. The whirlwind of accusations kept twirling inside your mind. And the horrible feeling settled in.

I know that feeling very well.

It wasn't until I realised that the problem wasn't just how I acted in the moment. The biggest problem was the lack of solid signposts.

It changed when I spent time finding my main values. Since then, I use my values as my compass, and today I’ll help you find yours.

Knowing our values is the first step to avoid that regret.
When you know your values, you can use them to create a Life Vision—a tangible description of how you want your life to look like. When your Life Vision is based on your values, it’s not just a day-dream. It is attainable.
Once you have the Life Vision, you can use it to create a Life Plan—a Roadmap mapping out how you will turn your Life Vision into reality.

So, how can you find your values?

How to Find Your Values: A Step-by-Step Guide

Now this newsletter is a shortened version of the full article Why And How To Find Your Values: A Step-by-Step Guide (& a list of 120+ values to choose from). I had a problem to find how to attach a .pdf file to this newsletter, so for now it is only available in the article. Just go over and you can either view it online or download, whatever suits you better.

The process of discovering your Core Values spans several days, with break days in between. During break days, you should not actively look at your values but let your SupraMind (or subconscious mind) sort through them.

Step 1: Read the Lists of Values

Before you read the list, take a moment for a self-talk.
A self-talk is a valid part of psychotherapy and coaching programs which enables you to achieve more and more easily. For me it went something like this: “Now, I want to find out who I am and what are my values. I will read this list and I would like to get advice. Any signs to help me better understand who I am and what are my values are appreciated.” If you feel like it, you can even thank yourself. Who else will thank you than you? :))

When you start reading, don't think about the values, don't try to select the right ones. For now, only familiarise yourself with them.
  • If something jumps out at you and you think "That's me!" mark it. I used [*] for the values representing me.
  • If something jumps out at you and you think "That's definitely not me" mark it. I used [x] for the values which I don't want in my life.
  • If you see some value you would love to have, mark it too. Such values often show what our soul is longing for. I used [•]t for the values which are not yet represented in my life. But don't try to make it up. Just read the list and mark only if something jumps out to you.

Step 2: Engage Your Supraconscious Mind

Before you put the list away, talk to your SupraMind again. Take a moment to repeat your need for guidance and understanding.
Then, take a 1-2 days break and allow your supraconscious mind to process the information.

After two days, revisit the list with fresh eyes.

Step 3: Narrow Down Your List

Your goal now is to select values which resonate with you, aiming for 6-15 values in the “That’s me” category and 3-12 values in the “That’s NOT me” category.

If you created a list of defining moments from your past—as described in the Growing Tree of Life newsletters #053-#055—now it’s time to use it.
As you review each value, reflect on those past experiences and focus on your emotional responses and feelings in your body. You can also imagine how you could display this value in your current life, be it at work or in any other situation.

At the end of this session, you should have a Shortlist of 6-15 values in the “That’s me” category and 3-12 values in the “That’s NOT me” category. If you still don't have enough values or you have too many, repeat this step every 2-3 days until you reach that goal.

Step 4: Engage Your Body-Brain Connection

Once you have the shortlist of 6-15 values that represent who you are, 3-12 values that show who you are not, and any number of desirable values; it’s time to reinforce your chosen values through physical action.

As always, it’s good to start with engaging your SupraMind by talking to it.

Now take your shortlist and handwrite the values including their descriptions. If some part of the description doesn’t fit exactly how YOU view that value, change it. Write all the values down exactly how you understand them, how you feel them. They are meant to represent you.

The point here is to engage the mind-hand-eye-mind loop. Transferring our thoughts from mind through hands onto paper and back through eyes into mind creates a clarifying loop which writing on the keyboard cannot replicate—unless you can write with your eyes fixed on the text and not on the keyboard.

By creating a tangible connection between your mind, body, and spirit, you engage different parts of your conscious brain. That will create a deeper integration of your values into your conscious mind. This process embeds your values deeper in your mind. It will make much easier to express them in different situations.

During writing, pay attention to any physical sensations or emotions that arise.

Take a 1-2 days break.

Step 5: Choose Your Core Values

Now it’s time to finalise your list of core values. The goal is to get to 5-6 core values from the “That’s me” category and 2-4 from the “That’s NOT me” category.
Again engage your SupraMind by talking to it and use handwriting to open deeper understanding of the text. Rewrite the values, if needed combine them together to create new definitions—play with them until you will have a list of 5-6 “That’s me” and 2-4 “That’s NOT me” values which all deeply resonate with your soul. The way you describe them on the paper must mean something to you. It might not mean anything to someone else, but to you they have to be the essence of your soul being poured on the paper.

When you have the list of your core values, you can either type and print them out or you can write them on one paper by hand. But it is crucial that you will create a one-page list of those core values.

And that’s it.
You have your core values.
Now you can create your Life Vision.

As I mentioned above, I had a problem to find how to attach a .pdf file to this newsletter, so for now it is only available in the article on the website. Just go over to the full article Why And How To Find Your Values: A Step-by-Step Guide (& a list of 120+ values to choose from) and you can either view the list online or download it, whatever suits you better.

It's nearly midnight, this was a long day. Next week we will look into creation of a Life Vision. Week after at the creation of a Life Plan.

Thank you for being an part of the Growing Tree of Life tribe
See you next Thursday!


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