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Welcome back to the Growing Tree of Life, our weekly exploration of personal growth and well-being.
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Issue Number: #083
Date: 27 August 2024
Reading Time: 4 minutes
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The Power of Saying No: Protecting Your Time and Energy
Have you ever felt overwhelmed with tasks, invitations, and commitments? It happens to the best of us, often because saying ‘no’ can be surprisingly difficult.
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This is something Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple, understood deeply. He once said,
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“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you've got to focus on. But that's not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are.”
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Jobs stressed the importance of turning down tasks and projects to maintain focus. He believed that innovation wasn’t just about chasing every good idea but about resisting that urge. Thanks to this principle, we have revolutionary products like the iPhone.
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But it’s not just about big business decisions; this principle applies to our everyday lives.
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Remember that time you agreed to join that club, attend that party, and help with that project all in one week? By Saturday, you were probably exhausted. While it’s commendable to be involved and help others, overcommitting can stretch us thin and reduce the quality of our engagement in each activity.
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Dr Adam Grant, in his book ‘Give and Take’, discusses this issue too. He talks about being a ‘giver’—someone who helps others generously—but warns that doing so without setting boundaries can lead to burnout.
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Let’s be honest, a burnt-out version of you isn’t much help to anyone.
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Constantly saying ‘yes’ and overloading ourselves leads to stress, which has a host of negative effects on our health, including sleep disturbances and a weakened immune system. Plus, cognitive studies have shown that multitasking—or juggling too many commitments—can impair our ability to think clearly and make decisions.
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Greg McKeown, in his book ‘Essentialism’, captures this nicely. He emphasises that saying ‘no’ is critical in deciding where our energy should go. By declining things that don’t align with our goals, we can focus on what truly matters. This could be family, health, or a side project you’re passionate about.
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While saying 'yes' can open doors, saying 'no' acts as a guardian of our time, energy, and focus.
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It helps us concentrate on what’s genuinely important and allows us to give our best to those selected endeavours. It’s about quality over quantity. So, the next time you’re tempted to automatically reply with a ‘yes,’ take a moment. Evaluate if it aligns with your priorities and if you can truly commit to it without spreading yourself thin.
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Remember, sometimes the most empowering and productive thing you can say is a polite but firm 'no.'
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After all, in the wise words of Paulo Coelho,
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“When you say 'yes' to others, make sure you aren’t saying 'no' to yourself.”
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Here’s a quick experiment to help you practice prioritising your commitments:
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1. Identify Your Priorities
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Start by writing down your top 3-5 priorities in life right now. These could be related to your career, personal growth, health, relationships, or other important areas. (If you watched my free webinar and downloaded the workbook "It's Time To Be Me", you already should know your priorities.)
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2. Evaluate Your Current Commitments
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Take a look at your current commitments, both big and small. List out your tasks, projects, and social obligations. Then compare these against your list of priorities. Are there any commitments that don’t align with what’s most important to you?
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For the next week, when you receive a new request, invitation, or task, pause before responding. Ask yourself: Does this align with my top priorities? Do I have the time and energy to commit to this without compromising my well-being or other important commitments?
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If the answer is “no,” practice politely declining. You can use phrases like, “I appreciate the offer, but I’m currently focused on other priorities,” or “I’m unable to commit to this right now.”
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Today's Tip:
Saying “no” is a powerful tool for protecting your time, energy, and focus.
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By prioritising your commitments and politely declining tasks and invitations that don’t align with your goals, you can concentrate on what truly matters and avoid burnout.
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That’s all for today. Thank you for reading, and see you next Tuesday.
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What you can do next:
- Would you like to get personal coaching? Check out my website Lubo.Coach and book a free Discovery call.
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The Growing Tree of Life newsletter is sent out every Tuesday.
Reading time is usually 4 minutes or less.
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- I have a free webinar and a workbook "It's Time To Be Me" that helps you find out who you are, what are your values, and what should you focus on to create and live a life you love.
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Lubo
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