30 March 2023
Reading time: 2:01 minutes

Don't follow your heart - blindly.

Why you should examine your feelings before acting upon them.

Have you ever heard the advice to follow your heart or use your feelings as a guide? It sounds great, doesn't it? But there's a catch...

Many people think it will feel good and easy if something is right for you. But that's not always the case.

Growth can sometimes feel terrible. Especially emotional growth. It can feel like you're dying because you're pushing yourself to your limits.

Changing your career may feel like a daunting task if you're anxious about the unknown.
Starting to exercise daily can be challenging. Especially when you're out of breath and don't see quick results.

It's essential to differentiate why the things you are trying to do feels hard.

Some feel off because of change resistance. Breaking old habits is painful.
Some things feel off because they are not aligned with your inner self.

So, how do you distinguish between the two?

Recognise the Signs:
  • Pay attention to your body's signals when faced with challenging situations.
  • Notice how you feel, physically and emotionally. Are you feeling anxious, tense, or overwhelmed?
  • If so, take a moment to reflect on why you're feeling that way.
    • Is it because you're stepping out of your comfort zone? Stepping out of your comfort zone can be scary.
    • Is it because you don't know exactly what you are doing?
    • Is there any other "logically" explainable reason?
    • Or is it because the situation isn't right for you?

Knowing your values helps you to distinguish the different reasons behind your feelings.

If you don't have a map of your values yet, "Defining values" is the first step in my Tree of Life Quest framework.
Just hit "Reply" on this email and ask for details on how to get it for free.

Once you make your decision use these three mindset shifts:
  1. Embrace the Discomfort: Understand that growth comes with discomfort. You're stepping into the unknown, and that can be scary. However, that doesn't mean you should avoid it. Embrace the discomfort and trust that it's a sign of progress.
  2. Learn from Your Mistakes: Accept that failure is part of the growth process. Don't beat yourself up if you stumble or fall. Instead, use your mistakes as an opportunity to learn and grow. Reflect on what went wrong and what you can do differently next time.
  3. Focus on the Big Picture: Keep your eyes on the prize. Focus on the long-term benefits of your growth journey, rather than short-term discomfort. Remember why you're doing what you're doing and keep moving forward.

If your feelings keep you from making a change in your life, here are some questions to ask yourself:
  • What is causing me to feel resistant about this situation/person/goal?
  • How can I make this easier for myself?
  • How will this change help me grow and become the person I want to be in the world?

By using these questions you'll make growth-focused decisions, even if it's uncomfortable.

Your feelings might be a great guide, but first, you need to understand them.

So, what's holding you back from becoming the person you want to be?

Take care and keep growing!

What you can do next:

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Thank you for reading.
See you next time.


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